awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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