if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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