if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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