We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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