Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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