i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
