Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
