I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
