So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
