It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They are going to name an STD after you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
