Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize