That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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