I am puke
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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