just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
