Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
