Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
