we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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