Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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