I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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