i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
