NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
