He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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