I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
