I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You dont lie about slip and slides
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
