You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize