we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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