Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize