I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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