dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
