It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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