What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
