K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
