Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
