So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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