You're completely useless in the revolution.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
