It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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