i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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