so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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