It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
