did you get engaged???
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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