Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
