i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
