worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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