Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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