Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
