I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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