i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
