Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
