i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize