You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't deserve a penis
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
