Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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