he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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