You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
