i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
