i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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