Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
