I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
