I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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