I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
