I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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