the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
