fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize