Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
