Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
