i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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