Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
